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Northamptonshire : Rose of the Shires |
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Winwick Northamptonshire
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My walking companion and I leave West Haddon and
strike out along a country lane towards Winwick. Cresting a hill I stop
and lean on a five bar gate and look around for picture possibilities
and although there are none it is still a pleasure to lounge around
and drink in the scenery. It’s a nice spot so we break out the
sandwiches.
In the distance at the bottom of the hill is a field of cows. The cows are a long way off but one of them, if it is indeed bovine, looks huge. I watch it for quite a while and it doesn’t move an inch and anyway it's too big even for a bull. Another walker who has been walking a few hundred yards behind goes by and he bids me a cheery 'hello' as he passes. About twenty minutes later he walks back and glancing at my Olympus OM2 gives me a look as if he knows something I don’t and I think to myself ‘bloody digital shooter’. I resume my lounging around for another ten minutes or so and I make regular checks on the extra large brown object in the cow field. The cows are grazing their way across the field but the brown truck (?) hasn’t moved so much as an inch, ‘clearly inanimate’ I tell myself. The sandwiches and coffee consumed we set off down the hill. The path gives intermittent views of the cow field through the hedgerows and the brown shed (?) still hasn’t budged an inch. By the time we reach the gate which gives access to the cow field I now know that the brown outhouse (?) is in fact a bull and he still hasn’t budged an inch, just standing there with his head level with what now looks a very narrow path. We discuss the possibility of turning back just like that selfish bastard 'digital shooter' who doesn’t even think to mention that there is a potentially dangerous (potentially stuffed I tell myself since he still hasn’t moved an inch) animal on the route that we are taking. There is no warning on the gate, which I take to be a good sign, ‘Who would turn a dangerous animal loose on a footpath and then not post so much as a warning ? I ask myself . ‘A country landowner who hates oiks like me trudging unimpeded across his land that’s who’ I reply.
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I
am annoyed by my timidity and remind myself that I am the alpha male
here, hell! I just lunched on beef sandwiches, how alpha is that?. We
decide to go for it. We approach the bull, he still doesn’t move
an inch and my thoughts turn, somewhat ungallantly, to planning my escape
should he make a rush at us. I reason, very ungallantly, that I don’t
have to outrun the bull I just have to outrun my companion. It could
be a problem though because she has my upper arm clamped so tight that
she is cutting off the circulation. If she knew what I was thinking
I would be in far more danger from her than I would be from the bull
as she would probably have my neck clamped instead. I then see a possible
solution as to why the bull doesn’t move much, he looks to have
just three and a half legs. I am temporarily emboldened by the fact
that the animal may be incapacitated in the leg department and I risk
spooking him by taking a shot with a whirring motor drive. |
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A
few more yards and I realise that it was just the angle I was looking
from and it is now apparent that he has four and a half legs. He still
doesn’t move an inch. I take the another shot (uncropped) with
a 35mm lens. I’m that close. I’m that stupid. |
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I suggest to my companion that maybe she would be
better walking on the right lest she snag her coat on the barbed wire
fence, she declines. As we draw level with the bull I tell my companion
that she can at least let go of my arm now but she knows me too well.
Her wisdom matches my lack of gallantry and she tightens her grip. Just
as we pass the bull he exhales audibly, not really a snort, more of
a sigh but I but I very nearly shi….., well never mind what I
very nearly did but I can tell you that I very nearly did. We looked
back as we left the field and the bull still hadn’t moved an inch.
I completed the walk with a lightness of step consistent with a hunter/gatherer in his prime. My companion asked me what I would have done if the bull had charged and I told her that I would of course have placed myself in harms way and kept myself between her and the bull even if it meant letting the bull wear my arse as a hat. That was the only other bullshit that we encountered on the walk.
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